


Ventriloquist doll

by bigbrigandhewada



Category: British Comedy RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 06:17:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21070265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigbrigandhewada/pseuds/bigbrigandhewada
Summary: A guess at the motive behind the ventriloquist doll. Most likely not a fun read.





	Ventriloquist doll

It was the worst kind of time to wake up. Stewart’s brain came to the conclusion before his one half-opened eye spotted absolute darkness in the room. He didn’t need to look at the watch to know the time. About 5 am in the morning. Going to bed at 12 worrying about tomorrow helped created this precise cycle. He knew he has stuffs to do after he get out of bed but his body rejected the idea of getting up now. And he knew the very thought of that would fuel the whatever horrible thing comes into his dream in his next half an hour worth of nap. 

The dream took shape in an allegory. And as allegory goes, none of the characters will bear the real name of the actual human being they projected. So the names in the story were all fictional names. Here goes the story:

When god first looked around the emptiness, he was filled with determination to create the most original world that is unlike anything else. It would be the absolute origin that wouldn’t fall into any cliche any years later.  
Our young God started to go ambitiously around the whiteness to construct the world.  
He soon realized the world won’t have all his intelligence. “It was already too much with the light thingy. Let’s just sit on it and soak it in.” The emptiness said.  
God was depressed at the little response he got.  
“Love might be the cure.”, God thought to himself.  
He subsequently made himself an emotional support ventriloquist dummy Adam. He thought this care-free little guy who shares some aspect of his views on things might cheer him up. But God got worried that his dummy might be as depressed as him. God worried that his dummy might cry.  
In order to give Adam happiness, God introduced carnal pleasure, which to Adam at this point was unknown pleasure, to Adam. God tried to jack him off with a hand puppet. Adam was shocked and God panicked.  
“Will he be happier with a wife?”, God asked himself.  
God made Pinocchio Eve hastily. Eve gave God and Adam a look and said “That’s not gay at all.” Then the nose of Eve grew long. Adam was scared by the confidence demeanor of Eve and God snapped Eve’s nose to support Adam’s rib, to gave him a bit of a backbone.  
Eve said “It looks like I absolutely need a man.”  
Her nose grew long again right after the utterance of this sentence and she snapped her own nose. She pleasured herself with the piece of nose happily. She is the only happy one in the garden now. “Apple is overrated.”  
God wondered why this Eve character appeared for there is no real life reference of the character. Perhaps it was remembering the surge of the thousand-years-late to come revolution of political correctness.  
But God remembered his concern. God wanted Adam to be happy before he left Adam for his quest of tenacious originality, again. God was the only one in this garden who had the concept of killing at this moment…

“What happened then?”, asked Rich.  
“Then I woke up.” Stew gave the most unoriginal answer possible.  
“Sounds like your usual trick of pretending to be God.” Rich was not impressed.

Stew thought there might be a hint of genius in the dream. He filed this thought away for later uses. Turned out later came really fast. They were back from a particular bad gig that evening and Rich was crying. Stew’s hand reached for Rich’s grandfather’s ventriloquist dummy before he could remember the dream.  
And thy kingdom came.


End file.
